just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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