Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize