The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
