I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
