I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
