i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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