What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
