The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize