Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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