they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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