i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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