are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
