The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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