he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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