is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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