and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
