Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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