So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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