Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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