so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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