In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im holly from the hills drunk
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
