How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
