pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Boobs speak an international language.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
These tits shall not be calmed
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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