Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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