Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize