People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
