Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
