after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
