I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize