like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
