you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
