whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
