i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
