Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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