Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
