i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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