Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
