It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
