sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
