let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
