Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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