Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
