You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
