Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
