Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
