I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
