He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize