if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i need some magic done to my vagina
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
