They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Will exercising make me less horny?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
