I'm lost and stupid without you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize