I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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