Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
