Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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