areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize