I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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