You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
