my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize