I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
