while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
