ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
FUCK WHALES
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
