Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
