love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
