Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
