I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
