She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize