omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
