if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
