why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
50% drunk capacity currently
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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