She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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